Category: Internet Romances


(8:18:15 pm):hi

(8:18:15 pm):how are you and how’s your weekend been? I like your profile and would like to get to know you. What’s your take on mine and what’s your evening looking like? Interested in connecting?

Another example of someone I don’t want to talk to:

Him: hi

me: hi

Him: so what brings you to okc?

me: Boredom really

Him: ah

Him: i’m into hookups here myself


ANNNND yet another guy i do not want to talk to:

guy: wanna grab drinks and then snuggle tonight?
like, there’s not even a “hello, how are you?” Come on.

(8:22:45 am)skipper86:hey babe.. wanna have a naughty and funride cam session =D

REALLY? Like, as in, REALLY? THAT’S what i get?

sigh. i give up on men.

CUP SIZE? HELLO?????

So this is how the second instant message i received from this dating site went:

it started off normal —

lostandfoundout: hey
lostandfoundout: how are you?
lostandfoundout: hello?
me: whats goin on

now, he starts being an idiot, so; since im out grocery shopping with my friend, we decide to be assholes too—

lostandfoundout:looking for serious or casual?
me: it depends.
me: how good looking are you

lostandfoundout:you masturbate a lot?
lostandfoundout:hello?
me: Only when I think of you

I will now leave the timestamps in so you can see how if i dont IMMEDIATELY respond, he will just repeat himself and continuously say “hello?”

[2:09:34 pm]lostandfoundout:cup size?
[2:10:25 pm]lostandfoundout:hello?

me:I’m grocery shopping have some patience

[2:14:01 pm]lostandfoundout:cup size?
[2:15:02 pm]lostandfoundout:do you masturbate a lot?

so once again i decide to be an asshole too—-

me:How big is ur dick

lostandfoundout:im small
lostandfoundout:guess

me:Kitty goes meow

lostandfoundout:guess
me:Guess what
me:Are you tall

lostandfoundout:my size
[2:20:44 pm]lostandfoundout:where you live and with who?
[2:21:50 pm]lostandfoundout:hello?

me:You’re kind of a douche bag.

lostandfoundout:nah
lostandfoundout:just horny
lostandfoundout:wheere you live and with who?

[2:54:45 pm]lostandfoundout:heyllo?

me:Stop talking to me.
me: in fact, kill yourself first

[2:57:07 pm]lostandfoundout:where you ive and with who?
[3:02:11 pm]lostandfoundout:hello?
[4:40:04 pm]lostandfoundout:hey
[4:42:15 pm]lostandfoundout:how are you?
[4:42:16 pm]lostandfoundout:hello?

me:Did you forget you were talking to me before
me: i Called you a douche bag and told you to kill yourself

lostandfoundout:who knows
lostandfoundout:cup size?

me:Are you fucking kidding me

lostandfoundout:nope
lostandfoundout:cup size?

me:Go fuck yourself

lostandfoundout:cup size?

me:Your moms cock

lostandfoundout:cup size?
lostandfoundout:hello?

In Case I Needed A Reminder…

So I’ve had things to write, just not a chance to give my thoughts due attention. This, however, just happened and I’m on the bus so I figured I had the time to share.

Recently, I rejoined a free dating site. I had signed up and cancelled it about 5 times over the past 4 years. All I ever met were annoying guys who’d message me nothing but “do you want to meet?”

Uh, hi! Let’s have a conversation first? Let’s introduce ourselves, at the very least!

The other guys id get would live too far away, or have nothing in common but want to constantly talk.

Then, of course, there were the perverts. The ones who would message nothing but dirty things, asking if id have a threesome, if I swallow, if I wanted a good fuck.

Yea, I’m a sexual person, just like you. But if that’s what I wanted I would settle for the bar scene and be done with it.

So anyway, I recently signed up again, trying to be optimistic about men. Less than ten minutes after updating my profile, I get an I’m.

This is the ACTUAL conversation:

Man: hey
Me: hi
Man: do you like sucking?
Me: thanks for reminding me why I hate men, you douche bag.

End.

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