He goes by many names in my internet ramblings – The Mohawk Man, My Future Boyfriend, My Husband Who Doesn’t Know It Yet.
I’m not going to rehash all my I want him stories, but basically I’ve seen him in my job quite often. He’s gorgeous and I want him. From my station behind the deli counter, I can see what he buys…. strawberry instant oatmeal, skim milk, bottled water, etc. He likes to use the self check out lines. At one point I started obnoxiously saying hello to him, because he literally runs through the store and it’s impossible to start a convo or talk to him. At least by screaming “HIIII” he’d look in my direction, granted he thought I was retarded.
So don’t ask me why when opportunity punched me in the twat, I bent over and let it kick me in the ass as well.
I was coming back from lunch, and walking by the registers. It was fairly empty, and for the first time in nearly three years, there was The Mohawk Man, on the self check out line, with no one else around. No one to cock block me. No one to make me feel embarrassed for trying to hit on him… nobody around. And he was just…. standing there… checking out.
So feeling sassy, I went right up to him, and when he turned his head, I boldly asked, “Excuse me, what’s your name?”
I didn’t quite catch what he said. “Jeff?” i said.
“No, Kevin.”
“OH, Kevin. Nevermind then.” And I walked away. WHAT THE HELL. Why did I do that????? I had the perfect opportunity to talk to him, introduce myself, at least proclaim my undying love for him. And i said NEVERMIND???? WHEN THE FUCK DID I HAVE A LOBOTOMY???
Ugh. Life only gives you so many chances. And I’ve blown them all.
