Tag Archive: men


In no particular order, here are some things that men do that grate on my nerves.

- Interrupting.
Okay, so…we’re on a date, which theoretically means you’d like to get to know me better, right? THEN WHY THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP CUTTING ME OFF? Everytime I start to talk about something, whatever is in your mind is so much more important. I guess another man’s penis is more important to me then. Go away.

- Leading Someone On
There’s nothing wrong with messing around with someone you like. Fine, you don’t want to make anything official, but you’ve still been seeing the girl and/or messing around often enough that one could conclude feelings are involved.

It was more than just fucking around…. a seven hour drive just talking, putting your arms around her and kissing her cheek in front of your family, admitting your jealousy when she talks to her male friends, taking her cat to the vet with her, etc. All that, and then you say “I DON’T WANT A GIRLFRIEND.” Okay, if she likes you enough, she’ll stick with you, settling for the casualness and hoping you’ll change your mind, since after all, you’re with her all of the time.

Then, randomly, you’re “in a relationship.” Wow. Okay, so its not “I don’t want a girlfriend,” it’s “I don’t want YOU as my girlfriend.” Wouldn’t it have just been easier and nicer to say that in the first place, instead of telling her how beautiful she is, buying her dinners, helping her with family issues, fixing her car, and all those other stupid things a boyfriend would do? Why even waste a woman’s time?

There’s a difference between just fucking someone for casual sex, and leading someone on.

-Being a Flake
To be honest, I didn’t like these guys that much to begin with, so when they get flaky, it just makes me dislike more. I don’t understand men who will repetitively ask a woman out, tell her they like her a lot, ask for her number, give vague future plans, then just NEVER follow through.

An example: one guy sent me an email stating he’d liked me a lot since college, five years ago. After running into me again, he really hoped he could see me again, would love to take me out on a date. He was away at school, asked for my number, and said he’d call me that weekend.

Frankly, I could have cared less. But I’m in that whole “give everyone a chance” phase. He never called. Weeks later, apologized, said he’d been really busy at school. Asked to make it up to me. Fine. Did it again. Then sent one jokingly saying he how never goes through with what he says. I didn’t like him, now I LOATHE him. Its just annoying now. I was willing to give you a chance until i spent 5 months randomly answering his messages about much he likes me and wants to take me out. My ass. If you liked me, you would have made it happen.

Another example – a guy who will constantly say he’s coming to hang out, willing to pick you up, meet up, etc. Yet, EVERY TIME he mysteriously doesn’t show. Not even a “hey can’t make it.” Just…not showing. Okay, well I’m not the one up your ass, you’re the one randomly calling and texting to tell me you want to see me that night. Why are you bothering me then? I could have made plans with someone I actually want to see.

And that concludes this installment of things that men do that irritate me. More to come.

I miss the coyness of dating, the way you’d tell someone you like them without “sexting”, or any other means of fucking around before any actual intimacy. The subtle gestures, stolen glances, and lower lip biting in anticipation of even speaking to that particular person. You know, the want.

Those days are long gone, and it makes me tremendously put off.

Recently I started seeing a guy. He was so sweet, and so refreshingly unlike any other guy I’ve ever really met. Funny, charming, alarmingly cutesy with me. Pretty much perfection.
After a few weeks, I decided to sleep with him. Being the adult I am, I figured I didn’t have to play by any “rules” and wait for him to contact me. So, i did.
I was met with answers to questions i hadn’t even thought to ask, let alone verbally ask him what he responded with.

Another week has gone by. No word on his account.
It goes to show just because one of them doesn’t act like the rest of them, that they wont eventually be.
It sucks too. This one could have been different.

Also, I met him via okcupid. So if you’re keeping count, let me know what number I’m up to. Eventually I’ll hit a number that makes me move onto another dating site.

I recently started talking to this very cute-all-me-hipster-boy of my dreams on okcupid. About 3 days ago, I gave him my screen name after he asked for my number (which I never give out unless I’m all flippy-tummy about them (because I am a silly woman with a young girl’s fancies)).
I figured he wasn’t going to talk to me anymore because I didnt give him my number.
Well, today he IM’d me. Nothing special at first until he started talking about his “skills” at sexting.

First & foremost, “sexting” is the stupidest word in any language. Honestly? Honestly. Agreeing to go along with this horrible word, I don’t believe anyone is a real stranger to it. I most certainly am not, considering serious dating histories with the men I’ve really been with.

Having said that, I’m not the kind of girl who just gets naked by IM with not even a request, but a demand of whipping off my clothes for some fucker’s amusement while he strokes himself.
That’s what this dude did.
I repeatedly refused.
He mentioned I have a web cam (i do, bc it’s on my friend’s laptop..which is what i’m using).
I told him I was busy (this was after my shower-shave activities) getting dressed to go out, to which he said was perfect timing.

With all of this, I said no. No, repeatedly.
He finally called it quits, but not before telling me, “Sorry I’m not looking for anything serious. Just fun.”

To which I said, “And? No one said I’m  looking for marriage, nor did I ask you what you’re looking for. I’m just not going to send you pictures of myself for ‘fun’.”

Jerk.

N-I-C-E

I was visiting my brother Wally with my mom and a friend. Our day had been hectic and busy, but we ended it at a local diner in the town where my brother was.

We ate, laughed, and talked. Everyone was leaving as i was heading to the bathroom before starting to drive back here to New York.
As i was walking out of the bathroom, I was looking around and spotted a table with three guys. I noticed how one of the guys was looking at me, and just kept walking towards the corner to turn to the exit.
Since I could feel this burning sensation of being stared at, i glanced over and sure enough this guy was eyeballing me. Like whoa.
At the same time, he jerked his arm to the other two guys and then all three of these dudes were staring at me.
This of course made me feel like I had something on me, or my fly was unzipped (but I was wearing jeggings, so not possible). I looked away in an awkward-uncomfortable way, and was almost free when I glanced back to see if they were still looking at me. They were.
And then the guy who had originally been staring at me mouthed the word, “Nice” to me.

Yeah. Not nice, just kind of creepy. It just made me feel awkward and more timid than I normally feel when being stared at. Gross.

Tall guys like short girls.
Short guys like tall girls.
Tall girls like tall guys.

And no one cares what short girls like because they always get the tall ones I want.

In short, I am irrationally angry at one in the morning. Frustrated by my social life, and most importantly my “love” life. Ha.
I’m not one of those typical girls who’s entire life’s goal is to “find” a man, and just revolve around him. No. My life’s goals lie elsewhere, which is why I normally leave my love life to the universe and any actual fate there might be. So when the actual universe delivered me a man I was actually so into, I was all in.
I met a man, a ridiculously amazing man. On okcupid. Shock #1.
This man is an insufferable asshole. Shock #2.
We talked, we met, we ultimately did the deed. We’ve dated.
The dates have stopped.
This is where I’m irrationally angry.
I have put myself “out” there, asked him out plenty of times (which I never do), and haven’t been met at all half way.

I’ve resigned my enormous, and I mean enormous crush on him. I’ve deleted him and every little adorable bit of proof of his existence. I hate that I like him. I hate that I haven’t seen him, and I particularly hate that I can’t fantasize about Eric Northman without thinking of his delectable height, which in turn makes me think about Crush’s height. Which is why I’m frustrated beyond belief at 1 in the morning.

I even punched my pillow because in my dreams I can have Eric Northman, but in reality I can’t attain my crush. Or at least he doesn’t like me as much as I like him.

__________________________Tall Ones

I was out recently and saw a cute guy. This cute guy was definitely beyond the 5’9″ height. This guy was accompanied by a girl who’s tan was as fake as her Chanel bag. I realize as a feminist I shouldn’t snark on other women, and be all glad that “we” are out there, getting the guys. But as a woman, I’m irked. I somehow find these guys who are shorter, always shorter than me. And the tall ones? They’re so out of reach.
Excuse me for sounding bitter, but after this last bout with my fledgling love life, it has started to take a toll.

I always find it entertaining when men say one thing but do another. They say how much they want something, but when presented with it, they choose something different, for example.

Which in turn confuses me.
I know a guy who claims not to be a ‘player’.

Please note ladies, anytime a guy says that, he almost most certainly is a ‘player’.

This guy of course is someone I am so smitten with, that it should be illegal. Actually, I should just stop liking him.
Everything about him screams my name, the perfect fit for me. Which really means ‘Danger! Danger! High Voltage!’
He claims to not be a player but never has the time to do anything with me, but always says he will eventually.

Sidenote: when we do hang out, he treats me like such a lady, and kisses me so sweetly that my ridiculous behaviour is almost warranted.

And while I am torturing myself by having even the slightest affection for him, I’m declaring a change right now!

I..will not ..uh. I will not ask him to hang out anymore.

There. Baby steps.

Of Course, Lamb Passed Her Luck to Me.

After Lamb’s excruciating experience recently, very recently actually, I signed into the same website (www.okcupid.com).

I was met with this:

[11:34:27 pm]HIM: Hi there

[11:34:46 pm]HIM: bored? wanna chat?

[11:35:02 pm]ME: I’m more sleepy.

[11:35:17 pm]HIM: had a nice 4th?

[11:35:32 pm]ME: nothing special

[11:35:46 pm] ME: i dont really go out of my way to “celebrate”

[11:35:50 pm]HIM I went to a pool party

[11:35:56 pm] HIM I hear ya

[11:35:59 pm]HIM either do I

[11:36:07 pm] ME :thats cool

[11:36:10 pm]HIM: met anyone from here in person yet?

[11:36:24 pm]ME: couple of ppl

[11:36:37 pm]HIM: Hook up with any?

[11:36:51 pm] ME: isnt that kind of, i dont know, personal?

[11:37:20 pm]HIM:  yeah…sorry…don’t mean to offend you…but it’s online…so I find it ok to be personal…don’t you?

[11:37:50 pm] ME: thats a contradiction. “online” doesnt make anything personal.

[11:37:57 pm] HIM :lol

[11:38:00 pm]HIM: true

[11:38:04 pm] ME: in fact it furthers communication between people

[]11:39:49] HIM: do you want to share though?

[11:40:13 pm]ME: Share what? intimate details of my life with someone i dont know bc they think a computer is more personal? no, not really

I blocked him after wards. While I have no problem discussing my life, and the details within it, I DO have a big problem with someone just asking something they haven’t even earned the right to ask. Let alone push for it. I clearly said I thought it was something personal, and still he pushed.

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